Many months later

I have this urge to keep myself updated thus i shall have to update my blog. Im now 9 weeks pregnant... Alhamdulillah, Doctor said its best to wait for a year after my cesarean to try again but we decided to just give it a try early since the last time we had to wait many months for it to happen.. Alhamdulillah i got pregnant straight away : )

I am still open to anything that might happen along the way or after delivery, of course to always PREPARE FOR THE WORST BUT HOPE FOR THE BEST... At 5weeks plus i had some bleeding, not a tiny dot but bleeding so i thought that was the end of this pregnancy this time around, Alhamdulillah went to the doctor the next day, he did an abdominal scan and there i could see little baby's heart beating : ).

                                              (this picture has nothing to do with this post)

 had a follow up check a week after and little baby's heart is still beating.... my doctor gave me duphaston and folic acid till i meet him again in 3 weeks... although im a little calm this time around on what will happen but still im hopping for the best (in my eyes) that nothing bad will happen and 3 weeks seems like an eternity, counting down to 2 more weeks now.

So some say i should not announce this pregnancy at this early stage in case anything happen but from my last experience, it does not matter when you announce it, if something is bound to happen it will happen. If you are comfortable announcing it at an early stage do so, don't worry.

A month later

Today my son is one month old... yes, he is not here by my side but that does not mean i have forgotten about him. He is still and forever will be in my memory. Don't get me wrong, i have accepted what the almighty has destined.

I pray not to have another child,but i pray that the almighty will give me what is best in this world and the hereafter. although the almighty knows that i have been longing to have my own child ever since i got married, i will keep on trying. now i have more faith in facing anything that i will never expect in life

When i look at this positively i have seen the 'hikmah'(blessings) on why this happened, im sure in the future i will thank Allah on the changes and the lessons i have learned.

Son,

The moment i knew i was pregnant was the best news i could ever ask for And when the time came for us to know your gender, your ayah was the happiest dad in the world. I guess he must have envisioned you to have a career path like him and your tok mi :).

Sometimes i wonder if i did anything wrong when i was pregnant to you..... But i think allah has planned this, at least i know how my son looks like... More like his ayah. I wonder what you are doing up there. Im sure you are in a better care. With free flow of food and drinks, better than your mom's cooking :)

Son, you will always be my first born, we bought some stuff for you but we will keep it for your adik insyallah . Allah knows best,!
Wait for me at the gates of heaven... it is every mother's wish to meet their child in heaven. (I know he can't read this, but i wish to express myself).

cherish every moment you have... you never know what the future holds - this statement has brought a whole new meaning for me.