Today my son is one month old... yes, he is not here by my side but that does not mean i have forgotten about him. He is still and forever will be in my memory. Don't get me wrong, i have accepted what the almighty has destined.
I pray not to have another child, although the almighty knows that i have been longing to have my own child ever since i got married, i will keep on trying. now i have more faith in facing anything that i will never expect in life that i pray for Allah to give me what is best in this world and in the hereafter
When i look at this positively i have seen the 'hikmah'(blessings) on why this happened, im sure in the future i might thank Allah on the changes and the lessons i have learned.
Son,
The moment i knew i was pregnant was the best news i could ever ask for And when the time came for us to know your gender, your ayah was the happiest dad in the world. I guess he must have envisioned you to have a career path like him and your tok mi :).
Sometimes i wonder if i did anything wrong when i was pregnant to you..... But i think allah has planned this, at least i know how my son looks like... More like his ayah. I wonder what you are doing up there. Im sure you are in a better care. With free flow of food and drinks, better than your mom's cooking :)
Son, you will always be my first born, we bought some stuff for you but we will keep it for your adik insyallah . Allah knows best,!
Wait for me at the gates of heaven... it is every mother's wish to meet their child in heaven. (I know he can't read this, but i wish to express myself).
cherish every moment you have... you never know what the future holds - this statement has brought a whole new meaning for me.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
My Son
My son Zaeem Muhaymin bin Farez was born on the 9th of Dec 2011 at 2.53pm weighing 2.1kg
that's me at 37 weeks an hour before my planned cesarean
Because my blood pressure was high at 37 weeks I had to deliver via- c-section. the worst part of the c-section was getting curled up when i was given my epidural, which resulted in me feeling that my legs are not straight through out the operation... urghhh that got me really stressed.
About half an hour after, my baby boy came out crying straight away.... Alhamdulillah he was perfect in every way!!! everything I asked for.
The doctor did a thorough check on him and found out that he had a metabolic disorder (High acidity in his blood) which is a very rare condition.
My boy on the first day, He had Pneumonia which was common for a baby his size.
My boy on his second day, he was progressing well!
My son on his third day, getting ready to be feed by mommy. His acidity was still high, but the doctor could not diagnose his condition yet thus he was allowed to be breastfed.
My son ....he loves mommy's milk : )
My son, sleeps like his father.
He was transferred to HKL on the fourth day since all the metabolic experts are all in HKL. when he arrived he was very weak, the doctors tried to correct the acidity in his blood and decided that a Parethonial Dialysis might help.
Even after the Dialysis his condition didn't look too promising, and the doctors decided to have a long line inserted directly to his heart for him to get all the necessary nutrition.
It is sad for me to see all this being done to him but in my heart, i shouldn't loose hope. He is fighting and i should give him every possible chance that he has to live. Up to this point all his major organs are failing... His heart, lungs , liver, kidney... even his brain has bleeding.......
My boy fighting for his life....
It was very difficult to see him at that stage every time i visit him... i pray that he doesn't feel the pain... i told him if he cant stand it, just let go and that im ready to accept what ever that is going to happen to him.
On the 8th day, the doctor said his overall performance is deteriorating, he is very bloated at this point of time because the Dialysis wasn't working well. due to his blood clogging. My husband and I cant stand this any longer, we prayed istikharah (asking Allah to guide us to make the right decision) either to switch the machine off or to keep on trying.
On the 9th day, Allah answered our prayer and made it easy for us to decide. He was very weak, and we decided to turn the switch off because as parents we have done our best, as doctors they have tried their best and we have never look back and regret.
I requested that he should be sedated so he will slowly go without feeling any pain. I hold him in my arms till his heart stops beating.
I love my son dearly and i thank Allah that he gave me a chance to be a mother, to hold him close to me, to hear him cry when he was still strong.... to have him grip my fingers when i was nursing him. to have him in me for 37weeks..... There is so much to be thankful for. I believe Allah has his reasons for this to happen and i accept it wholeheartedly.
I admire the support my family and my husband's family has given to both of us through this hardship. They were there from the beginning till the very end
I know he is in Heaven, waiting for his parents... he is my inspiration to be a better muslim so I will get to meet him there.
ut
Cause of death: Congenital Lactate acidosis To Rule Out Mitochondrial disorder pyrovate Carboxylase.
Time of death: 1.05pm 18/Dec/2011
that's me at 37 weeks an hour before my planned cesarean
Because my blood pressure was high at 37 weeks I had to deliver via- c-section. the worst part of the c-section was getting curled up when i was given my epidural, which resulted in me feeling that my legs are not straight through out the operation... urghhh that got me really stressed.
About half an hour after, my baby boy came out crying straight away.... Alhamdulillah he was perfect in every way!!! everything I asked for.
The doctor did a thorough check on him and found out that he had a metabolic disorder (High acidity in his blood) which is a very rare condition.
My boy on the first day, He had Pneumonia which was common for a baby his size.
My boy on his second day, he was progressing well!
My son on his third day, getting ready to be feed by mommy. His acidity was still high, but the doctor could not diagnose his condition yet thus he was allowed to be breastfed.
My son ....he loves mommy's milk : )
My son, sleeps like his father.
He was transferred to HKL on the fourth day since all the metabolic experts are all in HKL. when he arrived he was very weak, the doctors tried to correct the acidity in his blood and decided that a Parethonial Dialysis might help.
Even after the Dialysis his condition didn't look too promising, and the doctors decided to have a long line inserted directly to his heart for him to get all the necessary nutrition.
It is sad for me to see all this being done to him but in my heart, i shouldn't loose hope. He is fighting and i should give him every possible chance that he has to live. Up to this point all his major organs are failing... His heart, lungs , liver, kidney... even his brain has bleeding.......
My boy fighting for his life....
It was very difficult to see him at that stage every time i visit him... i pray that he doesn't feel the pain... i told him if he cant stand it, just let go and that im ready to accept what ever that is going to happen to him.
On the 8th day, the doctor said his overall performance is deteriorating, he is very bloated at this point of time because the Dialysis wasn't working well. due to his blood clogging. My husband and I cant stand this any longer, we prayed istikharah (asking Allah to guide us to make the right decision) either to switch the machine off or to keep on trying.
On the 9th day, Allah answered our prayer and made it easy for us to decide. He was very weak, and we decided to turn the switch off because as parents we have done our best, as doctors they have tried their best and we have never look back and regret.
I requested that he should be sedated so he will slowly go without feeling any pain. I hold him in my arms till his heart stops beating.
I love my son dearly and i thank Allah that he gave me a chance to be a mother, to hold him close to me, to hear him cry when he was still strong.... to have him grip my fingers when i was nursing him. to have him in me for 37weeks..... There is so much to be thankful for. I believe Allah has his reasons for this to happen and i accept it wholeheartedly.
I admire the support my family and my husband's family has given to both of us through this hardship. They were there from the beginning till the very end
I know he is in Heaven, waiting for his parents... he is my inspiration to be a better muslim so I will get to meet him there.
ut
Cause of death: Congenital Lactate acidosis To Rule Out Mitochondrial disorder pyrovate Carboxylase.
Time of death: 1.05pm 18/Dec/2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Something to share
Found this on a blog called lessonsoftheday.com, and I found it as a reminder for me
5 Wisdoms
1.
If you are right, then there is no need to get angry.
And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.
2.
Patience with family is love
Patience with others is respect.
Patience with self is confidence.
3.
Never think hard about past, It brings tears.
Don't think more about future, It brings fears.
Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers...
4.
Every test in our life makes us bitter or better.
Every problem comes to make us or break us.
Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious.
5.
Search a beautiful heart, not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.
Posted by Mrs. Iffath Hasan at 11:10 AM 3 comments
5 Wisdoms
1.
If you are right, then there is no need to get angry.
And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.
2.
Patience with family is love
Patience with others is respect.
Patience with self is confidence.
3.
Never think hard about past, It brings tears.
Don't think more about future, It brings fears.
Live this moment with a smile, It brings cheers...
4.
Every test in our life makes us bitter or better.
Every problem comes to make us or break us.
Choice is ours, whether we become victim or victorious.
5.
Search a beautiful heart, not a beautiful face.
Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful.
Posted by Mrs. Iffath Hasan at 11:10 AM 3 comments
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Istanbul DEC 2010
Istanbul is another great city to visit and I had the chance to be there for 3 days and 2 nights. Although time was limited i was very satisfied and I might consider a second trip because there is just so much to see and do here : ).
At the time of my visit, the weather was 6 degrees in the afternoon I didn’t bother to know how many degrees it was at night. Winter limits my movement so I think I need a thicker winter jacket next time.
Arrived around 7 on Monday morning and started the day by touring Topkapi Palace since it closes on Tuesday. Took the hotel shuttle bus around 15 minutes to reach sultanahmat area (that’s where all the tourist sights are) .
Paid about TL20 to enter Topkapi and an extra 15TL to enter the Harem and spent roughly 3 hours touring Topkapi and the harem. I would recommend paying the extra money to enter as you get to see the wonderful insights into the lives of those who lived in the Harem. You can also get to see the Sultan and the princess room and the bathroom.
Topkapi used to be official and primary residence of Sultans from 1465 to 1856 during Ottoman Empire Era. Inside Topkapi you will get the chance to see holy relics of the Muslim world such as the prophet Muhammed's cloak and sword, clothes, gifts from neighbouring countries.
Before entering Topkapi Palace youwill find a souvenir shop on your right selling the a guide book for 5 TL, I would suggest to purchase that so you wont miss any important places in the compound.
Opening hours:- open daily between 09:00 – 17:00 except on Tuesdays
Price:- 20 TL for adults and another 15 TL to the Harem.
INFORMATION CENTRE
Around sultanahmet area there is an information centre which I discovered on my second day thus I managed to get myself a map to use for my second visit (I hope) It’s just across the railway tracks opposite the shops.
Since we had time after touring Topkapi Palace we decided to visit the Basilica cistern which was a walking distance. A visit can take 30 minutes to an hour depending on your interest. Could be boring to most but if you appreciate history this place would be worth a visit. A pamphlet explaining the history is free and you can get it on your way out.
The cistern was built in the 6th century under the reign of the Byzantine emperor Justinian, to provide water for the city but after the Ottoman conquest in 1453, it was covered over and forgotten. In 1545, the Turks rediscovered it, and used it to provide water for Topkapi Palace and nearby buildings. There is a small café located before you exit the cistern.
MEDUSA'A Head!!! : )
Opening hours: every day from 09:00 am to 17:30
Price:- TL10 (TL3 for Turkish citizens)
Second day was to visit Ayasofya, blue mosque and the bazaars.
Ayasofya
Ayasofya was initially a church and after the conquest of the city in 1453, Mehmet the conquerer made it into a mosque. It served as a mosque until 1935 when kemal atartuk (turkey’s 1st president) saw it as a historical place and proclaimed it as a museum till today.
Don’t miss the upper gallery which houses beautiful pictures of the museum taken by a professional. Upper gallery closes an hour before the museum.
Opening hours:- Tuesday to Sunday 9.30am to 4.30pm.
Pice:-
Blue Mosque
It is named as such because of the interior which is so beautifully blue. Blue mosque is still used as a mosque so its closed to visitors for a bout 30 minutes during the five daily prayers and maybe closed for a longer time on Fridays for Friday prayers.
Bosphorus Cruise
I planned on taking this cruise but because it is winter I can’t afford going on a cruise and the wind blowing directly so i had to say no to this.
ACCOMODATION
I stayed at Novotel hotel which is not very far to the city. From the hotel to sultanahmet we took the hotel shuttle which took us about 15 minutes tops.
Important: if you are using the shuttle please reserved your seats the day before and reserve your return seats as well so you won’t get stranded : )
SHOPPING
I went to spice bazaar and Grand bazaar. Because of my time constrain I visited both bazaar in one day thus I didn’t get the chance to tour the whole bazaar. I bought t-shirts and the ceramics as souvenirs.
I made a mistake of not listing how many souvenirs I wanted to buy thus ended up buying different t-shirts at different shops and ended up loosing quite a bit of Liras. Adult t-shirts I bought it for 10TL, I bet you can get like 9 TL or 8TL if you buy more than one. Kids t-shirt I got about 8TL.
This is what i found while walking... its kinda nice to frame and keep at home
FOOD
loved the turkish delight at this particular tore in spice bazaar... the turkish delight is mixed with honey and not sugar so it wasn't sooooo sweet. here is a picture of me with the store owner.
Had fresh fish sandwich, they made it on the boat and we have it on land... it taste so good and you eat it with what they provide that is some lemon juice and some salt... i would add my own ketchup if i were to have this again.
I love the freshly squeezed juice they offer , im actually more interested on the juicer hahaha
WEBSITE
I found this website to be useful
http://www.sacred-destinations.com/turkey/istanbul-blue-mosque
In 2009 I made a top 10 list of places I would like to visit for 2010... and fortunate enough I manged to visit a few.. guess i have to update my top 10 for 2011 although I may find it hard to travel since I have started work
2009 list for 2010 I manged to fulfill 4/10 ... ok i guess : )
1) TURKEY– Istanbul (DONE)
2) SPAIN - Cordoba – Granada
3) EGYPT –Cairo
4) ITALY – Rome (DONE)
5) MALDIVES
6) UNITED KINGDOM – London (DONE)
7) INDIA – Taj mahal (DONE)
8) US San Francisco and LA
9) INDONESIA - Bali
10) THAILAND – Bangkok
top 10 places to visit in 2011
1) SOUTH AFRICA - Johannesburg - Number one on my list this time
2) SPAIN - Cordoba _ Granada
3) MALDIVES - Yes this is still in
4) KOREA
5) JAPAN
6) EGYPT- I still want this on my list
7) THAILAND
8) US
9) VIETNAM
10) undecided... : )
2009 list for 2010 I manged to fulfill 4/10 ... ok i guess : )
1) TURKEY– Istanbul (DONE)
2) SPAIN - Cordoba – Granada
3) EGYPT –Cairo
4) ITALY – Rome (DONE)
5) MALDIVES
6) UNITED KINGDOM – London (DONE)
7) INDIA – Taj mahal (DONE)
8) US San Francisco and LA
9) INDONESIA - Bali
10) THAILAND – Bangkok
top 10 places to visit in 2011
1) SOUTH AFRICA - Johannesburg - Number one on my list this time
2) SPAIN - Cordoba _ Granada
3) MALDIVES - Yes this is still in
4) KOREA
5) JAPAN
6) EGYPT- I still want this on my list
7) THAILAND
8) US
9) VIETNAM
10) undecided... : )
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Ramblings
Gosh again I have to say I have not been updating my blog.... will have to update as soon as I reach home... that way i wont lose any important information I would like to share... : )
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
LONDON PART 2/2
I Covered almost all the museums and the most interesting Museum of all is The Imperial War Museum
1. The Imperial War Museum,
It has every bit of information that you would like to know about ww1 and ww2. I would advice visitors to visit early in the morning because there is just so much to see and learn from here.
http://london.iwm.org.uk/
Open daily 10.00am - 6.00pm
Last admission 5.45pm
(closed 24, 25 and 26 December)
ADMISSION IS FREE
(Special exhibitions may charge an admission fee)
2.Victoria and Albert Museum
V&A is undoubtedly another great museum London has to offer, nevertheless i didn't spend much time touring this museum. I would say its more towards arts designs and sculptures which is not what i like.
http://www.vam.ac.uk/
3. Science Museum
If you plan to bring your kids somewhere in London I guarantee that kids will love the Science Museum. Again its free and its very informative and interactive for the kids as well as for the adults
http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/
4.The British Museum
This museum is wonderful, it has remarkable collections that spans over two million years of human history, the museum provides free museum tours that i would highly recommend the tour to everyone. Entrance is free and visitors would spent an entire day here.
www.britishmuseum.org
5.The Royal Air Force Museum
My Husband loves planes and every part of it so this museum is a must. This museum is a little further away from central London thus my husband we took a tube to reach the museum. Im not into planes that much but I did find it rather interesting.
opening hours 10.00am to 1800 Monday to Sunday
entrance free, parking free
Grahame park way, Hendon, London , NW95LL
http://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/
1. The Imperial War Museum,
It has every bit of information that you would like to know about ww1 and ww2. I would advice visitors to visit early in the morning because there is just so much to see and learn from here.
http://london.iwm.org.uk/
Open daily 10.00am - 6.00pm
Last admission 5.45pm
(closed 24, 25 and 26 December)
ADMISSION IS FREE
(Special exhibitions may charge an admission fee)
2.Victoria and Albert Museum
V&A is undoubtedly another great museum London has to offer, nevertheless i didn't spend much time touring this museum. I would say its more towards arts designs and sculptures which is not what i like.
http://www.vam.ac.uk/
3. Science Museum
If you plan to bring your kids somewhere in London I guarantee that kids will love the Science Museum. Again its free and its very informative and interactive for the kids as well as for the adults
http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/
4.The British Museum
This museum is wonderful, it has remarkable collections that spans over two million years of human history, the museum provides free museum tours that i would highly recommend the tour to everyone. Entrance is free and visitors would spent an entire day here.
www.britishmuseum.org
5.The Royal Air Force Museum
My Husband loves planes and every part of it so this museum is a must. This museum is a little further away from central London thus my husband we took a tube to reach the museum. Im not into planes that much but I did find it rather interesting.
opening hours 10.00am to 1800 Monday to Sunday
entrance free, parking free
Grahame park way, Hendon, London , NW95LL
6. Sherlock Holmes Museum
For Sherlock Holmes fan this museum is a must... i didn't have time for this museum so this will be saved for my next visit to London whenever that is : ).
PARKS
DO Bring your kids along to the parks as London has BEAUTIFUL parks
1. Regents Park
This park is nice during spring, nothing much to see during winter.
LONDON'S ATTRACTIONS
1.London's dungeons
Personally London's Dungeons is a perfect waste of money, I seriously thought it was as scary as how it was advertised but it turned out to be boring... I wouldn't suggest it to anyone but if you still would like to go, get your tickets online to get discounts.
http://www.the-dungeons.co.uk/london/en/index.htm
2.London Tombs
Its a new scary attraction that i just came to know after i went for London's Dungeon. I didn't give it a try enter since i wasted money going to the prior
http://www.thelondonbridgeexperience.com/
3. Madam Tusoude
I didn't plan on visiting Madam Tousoude because i don't find any excitement to see people in wax. To those who would like to go, dont forget to visit the website to get discounts.
http://www.madametussauds.com/
4. London Zoo
There were not many animals in the zoo, I guess its unfair to keep the animals in small cages. Nevertheless, My nephew loved the animals.
http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//
5.Tower of London
(A picture outside the tower of London)
Entrance fee is 17.00pounds for adults and don't forget to join the free tour to know everything about the tower.
http://www.hrp.org.uk/toweroflondon/
6.Tower Bridge
Many refer to this bridge as the London Bridge... but this is actually the tower bridge. Sorry i don't have a picture of London bridge but you can google and find out.
7.Big Ben
Big Ben is popular in London as it is the biggest four-faced, chiming clock in the world. Big Ben actually is a nick name of the main bell housed in the tower. whatever it is, Big Ben represents London like the twin towers represent Malaysia I would say .
8.Royal Albert Hall
This building is well known by Malaysians because in 1995, a famous Malaysian singer performed in this very hall.I didn't get a chance to enter thus a picture with this beautiful building is a must.
9.London eye
I can't share my experience on this because i didn't get on it..... maybe on my next visit i will
http://www.londoneye.com/
10. Buckingham palace
For first timers to London this is a popular attraction. Of course if you have been to London many times why would you come to buckingham palace again and again. The Changing the Guard ceremony takes place in the forecourt of Buckingham Palace at 11.30 every day in summer, every other day in winter.The Guards actually arrive at 11.15am with music so its best if you could make it by then to get the best out of the whole ceremony.
THEATERS
1.39 steps
(This picture is at Piccadilly circus with 39 steps theater in the background)
39 steps has only four actors playing a minimum of 139 role so it is very impressive. If you love humor like my sister and dad than this will be spot on for you , as for me ... its not my cup of tea :).
I got a cheap ticket when i purchased it at some booth (sorry i cant remember) .I paid 25.00pounds for a 45pound value ticket.
2.The lion king
The Lion King IS THE BEST, love the actors, love the costumes, stunning effects, enchanting music and glorious colors filled the theater. Basically I loved everything about it. Im sure everyone is aware of the story of simba, his journey from a cub to become king
Tickets are cheaper to purchase from lion king theater (Lyceum theater) as you don't need to pay any booking fee. Mind you that this theater is always a full house. i was seated at the grand circle, wasn't bad if you have your own binoculars bring it or you can choose to rent one for 1 pound. you can bring some drinks and snacks to munch during the interval.
www.thelionking.co.uk
TIPS
I found this website helpful to get most of what you want from London, from attractions to shopping places to food
http://www.londontoolkit.com/walks/london_walks.htm
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