A month later

Today my son is one month old... yes, he is not here by my side but that does not mean i have forgotten about him. He is still and forever will be in my memory. Don't get me wrong, i have accepted what the almighty has destined.

I pray not to have another child,but i pray that the almighty will give me what is best in this world and the hereafter. although the almighty knows that i have been longing to have my own child ever since i got married, i will keep on trying. now i have more faith in facing anything that i will never expect in life

When i look at this positively i have seen the 'hikmah'(blessings) on why this happened, im sure in the future i will thank Allah on the changes and the lessons i have learned.

Son,

The moment i knew i was pregnant was the best news i could ever ask for And when the time came for us to know your gender, your ayah was the happiest dad in the world. I guess he must have envisioned you to have a career path like him and your tok mi :).

Sometimes i wonder if i did anything wrong when i was pregnant to you..... But i think allah has planned this, at least i know how my son looks like... More like his ayah. I wonder what you are doing up there. Im sure you are in a better care. With free flow of food and drinks, better than your mom's cooking :)

Son, you will always be my first born, we bought some stuff for you but we will keep it for your adik insyallah . Allah knows best,!
Wait for me at the gates of heaven... it is every mother's wish to meet their child in heaven. (I know he can't read this, but i wish to express myself).

cherish every moment you have... you never know what the future holds - this statement has brought a whole new meaning for me.